Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
