Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have feelings that need drinking.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Randomize
