She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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