He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
i think i just lost a toe
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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