I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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