Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
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