I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
