Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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