he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
