Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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