I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think i have two assholes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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