let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
