kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
