and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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