I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
