Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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