At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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