Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
