is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
