Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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