Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
