I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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