Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I just found a bag of teeth...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
