You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
