Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my shit smells like andre
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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