i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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