I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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