First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
