Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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