Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
