I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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