And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
