You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
