Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
