Don't you send me to vm
he wants to bone in the snuggie
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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