i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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