Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
