im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize
