Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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