I just threw up on my dentist
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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