So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
