My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
