Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
