Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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