She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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