I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
