garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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