and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
