This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
