i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
