I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had to cum in my sink.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
