i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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