he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
