The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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