so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I just want nice things and good sex
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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