I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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