carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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